Fire Emblem trials
by Phoenix Lord
Summary: Guy spends much of his time playing on the gamecube. Who can stop him before he wrecks the entire army?
1. Default Chapter

AN: This is an attempt at humor. I'm kinda tired writing on my major project so I decided to try this. Here goes! PS: I removed, replaced weapon, and reposted this story.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem, what else do you need to know?

Ch. 1 Swordmadness

After the battle, Mech the tactician was inside his tent, snoring. After ignoring a few pounding knocks, the lords, Raven, Fiora, and Kent barged in.

"Hey! What'd I tell ya about barging into my tent!" the tactician snapped. He pointed at the newly repaired roof.

"Um, Mech? You did that, with your…attack," Fiora corrected him. She was referring to Mech's misused Steel Blade combo that he used the last time Bartre barged into his tent to ask for a handful of stones. Mech thrashed his tent and nearly took off Bartre's head.

"Ahem…well, okay. That _was_ my fault. So why are you here?" Mech asked.

"Guy," all of them answered.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's still playing with that black box you brought from wherever it is you came from," Hector told him.

"He's ignoring Priscilla," Raven growled.

"Wait, I thought you didn't want Guy near Priscilla," Mech pointed out.

"You've been reading too many of other people's stories about me," Raven answered "What were they called again? Fanleeches?"

"Fiction. They're called Fan_fiction_," Mech corrected him.

"Why do you need to read books on your other black box?" Eliwood asked, highly annoyed, "Especially since they make fun of us."

"'Cause it's funny! Can't a serious guy read something humorous once in a while?" Mech asked.

"Can we please get back to the subject?" Hector demanded.

"Uh, sure. What was it again?"

"That insane Guy!" everyone shouted.

"Which guy?" Mech asked. "GUY!" everyone shouted again.

"You mean the Sacaen guy who practices with sword everyday?" Mech asked.

"Who else?" Hector retorted.

"What makes you think I want to mess with Karel?" Mech asked.

"NOT KAREL! GUY!" everyone screamed. They looked about ready to butcher Mech with their weapons.

"Why not send someone else to handle Guy first? Like Jaffar, or Raven, or even Karel," Mech suggested. Everyone brightened to that idea and went off to find someone who was suicidal enough to mess with Guy.

"Nitwits. Didn't they think of that in the first place?" Mech sighed. He got up and went to look for Karel.

At a wide open meadow, a slight breeze was ruffling the grass along with Mech's black hair and his black and red cloak. It would have been a wonderful day except for one thing. Karel was there. Mech watched as Karel used multiple sword techniques smoothly like calm waters. Watching Karel pretend to butcher someone tend to make the air colder.

"Might as well get this over with," Mech muttered to himself. After making sure that the Killing Edge that he 'borrowed' from the merchant Merlinus was securely fastened to his belt, he headed toward Karel.

As Guy was playing Super Smash Brothers, two shadows approached Guy. Guy looked up with his blood shot eyes and saw Raven and Erk.

"I'll make you pay for hurting my sister," Raven roared as he whipped out his Brave Sword.

"You'll fell my wrath for having Lady Priscilla fall for you," Erk announced, holding an Excalibur tome. Both stood in their Critical Hit stance. Before they moved, Guy Critical Hit them both (he doesn't believe in 'wait for the character to finish their pose'). Raven and Erk lay lying on the ground, half dead.

"Oh no! Lord Brother! Erk!" Priscilla screamed, "Guy, how could you?" Guy glared at the girl who dared to disturb his game. He slowly unsheathed his Killing Edge. Priscilla gulped and slowly backed away.

"At long last, a foe worthy to fall beneath my blade," Karel crowed.

"Yo! Karel! I got a favor to ask you," Mech hollered. Karel gave Mech a look of disdain and death. Mech was leaning against a tree far away from Karel.

"Beat it tactician. You are not worthy to feel my blade," Karel snarled. Mech looked at the Wo Dao's edge.

"I don't think I want to be worthy," Mech commented. He continued, "Anyway, about that favor: Can you go beat up Guy? Everybody's terrified of him lately. Even Matthew."

Karel sliced his sword toward the tree that Mech was leaning on and the tree fell.

"That pup is not worthy," Karel said.

"A-ah-ha! Who knew the big bad scary Karel is afra-aaaid," Mech managed to taunt next to a tree near his head. Karel rushed at Mech, his eyes promising a slow and painful death.

"EeeEEEeeepppP!" Mech screamed like a little girl with bad vocals. Mech turned and clumsily yanked out his sword but slip on mud and was falling flat on his back.

"I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE!" Mech squealed.

By blind luck, as Mech slipped, his foot hit Karel in a place where I'm not telling and launched him a few meters away. The Wo Dao fell from his fingers and sliced Mech's hood.

"ELIWOOD! HEEEELP!" Mech screamed. Karel got up and had a scary expression on his face.

"You beat me," was all he said.

"I'M SORRY! I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" Mech squealed.

"Very well. I'll kill Guy. But when I came back, you will fall to my blade," Karel threatened. Like a ghost, he vanished.

"I…I live…I LIVE!" Mech shouted. He was doing an ugly victory dance when Karel popped up.

"Where is he?" Karel asked. He picked up his Wo Dao.

"AIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Mech fainted.

AN: Well, how was it? Good? Tell me what you think (read and review, right?), but please keep in mind that this is my first attempt at humor. Don't burn me down too harshly unless you think it's necessary. Oh yes, one more thing, at least one more chapter will be posted here. Good-bye.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: It's been a while since I've updated this. By now, the GBA Fire Emblem is outdated. I sure got a lousy since of timing. Anyway, my computer was dead for a long time. If you're still interested in the chaos, please go ahead and read. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem. If I did, you'd never would have heard about it.

Ch. 2 RUN! 

Karel stood behind Guy, his Wo Dao was out, and he was grinning like a bloodthirsty madman. It was wiped out when Guy turned to glare at him. His eyes were red and dark from lack of sleep. His hair was in wild disarray. He definitely looked like a lunatic more than Karel ever could.

"What do you want?" Guy's voice sounded like a vengeful god who caught a blasphemer.

"I, um, I'm, eh, here to, eheh…kill you," Karel stammered.

"INFIDEL! You think mere swords can kill a Game master?" Guy boomed. Karel immediately did a Critical Hit (he also is an impatient fighter) but Guy dodged.

"Impossible! No one dodges Critical Hits," Karel gasped.

"When you play a lot of adventure games, you learn the slightest moves to avoid attacks from the boss," Guy said sagely.

"This is not an adventure game! This is a strategy game with a turn-base fighting system," Karel ranted.

"Rules don't matter with a Gameshark," again with the sagely advice.

"That's it! I'm taking you down, pup!" Karel roared. He came charging at Guy, but Guy dodged and smacked Karel's behind with the broad side of the sword.

"Insolent pup!" Karel snarled. Blind with rage, Karel managed to hit Guy. "You did NOT just hit the GAMEMASTER!" Guy howled. He activated his hyper mode (From Burning Gundam of G-Gundam, not the Saiyans from Dragon Ball) and was now the Golden Guy. As the name suggested, Guy was now completely gold. "Impossible! How could you learn the ultimate, secret technique of Sacae?" Karel gasped. "Feel my wrath!" Guy roared, the golden light brightening to such piercing heights. "L-light. But, but why?" Karel stammered (like Ansem from Kingdom Hearts). He was KO'd. Behind a tree, Lyn saw what had happened.

After getting a crash course on sneaking past enemies from Matthew, Lyn went back to where Guy was playing on the Tactician's black cube. As he was last time, Karel was still on the floor, KO'd. Applying all that she learned from Matthew, which isn't much since she was lectured for 30 minutes, Lyn stealthily reached Karel. She was about to drag him away when a Killing Edge plunged into the ground near her face. "What are you doing to my prey?" Guy asked cheerfully. "Getting Karel away from your madness," Lyn replied, "This isn't like you, Guy. Whatever happened to the man who viewed honor above all things? Come back to us, Guy; come back to your friends." "'Friends'? I don't need friends. Friendship is for people who are weak," Guy said. "Oh yeah? Well, your imagined power is your weakness, Guy," Lyn shouted. "And your faith in your friends is yours!" Guy snapped back. "That's what you think, but it is because of my friendship with Mech that he gave me this!" Lyn whipped out an Earth Seal. With a crackling of electricity, Lyn was a now a Blade Lord. "You think that a level 1 Blade Lord can defeat a level 10 Swordmaster?" Guy laughed. "I can use this," Lyn brought out an Iron Bow. When she couldn't use it, she realized that she was standing to close to Guy. Uttering a few un-lady like words, Lyn knew that this mistake would be her last. "Die, worm!" Lyn closed her eyes and waited for her end to come.

Walking back into camp, Mech was grumbling about how Karel, who was "supposed" to be the greatest loony of the group, managed to botch a simple mission as stopping Guy. "I asked him not to kill Guy; just knock him unconscious. The only he had to worry about was holding back, but no, he had to go and get knocked out himself. He's not as great as everybody says he is," Mech ranted. Not paying attention to where he was going, Mech crashed into Florina, the youngest of the three Pegasus Knights sisters. "Blast! Watch where you're going," Mech snarled, before realizing it was Florina. Florina just stared at Mech with big, teary eyes, before she started bawling. "WAAAH! HE'S SCARING ME!" Florina screamed. "Ah, blast," Mech knew what was coming. Lyn would come running toward Florina and calm her down while butchering Mech, and forcing them to start their plans all over again. He did not expect a shadow to appear below him, or the wind rising in a gust. 'Oh no,' Mech thought. He didn't know whether being caught by Florina's older sister was worse or better then being caught by Lyn, but he didn't want to find out. "See ya!" Mech bolted, which was a fruitless effort since Fiora was on a Pegasus. "No you don't!" Fiora yelled. She thrust out her spear and pinned Mech by his robe. "F-Fiora! Nice weather we're having, huh?" Mech stammered. Above him, the sky darkened and began to rain. 'Great even the weather's against me," Mech thought. "Mech, what did I tell you about scaring Florina?" Fiora threatened. "That you'd skewer me, then my corpse into an enemy's camp where I'll be skewered even further," Mech squeaked as Fiora brought out a Killer Lance. Just before Fiora could keep her threat, Hector burst out with worried look on his face, "Has anyone seen Lyn? She's been missing for a while. Snatch, we were planning on going out to dinner at one of those shady bars." Hearing that Hector was going on a date with Lyn, Fiora shifted her target from Mech to Hector. "Hector, weren't you supposed to be going out with Florina later today?" Fiora asked. Her eyes burned with indignation that Hector would be cheating on her little sister. "Oh, blast! I said my plans in front of Fiora," Hector bolted, and Fiora quickly overtook him. Forgotten in the moment of screams and violence, Mech quickly dusted himself off and looked apologizing toward Hector's direction. "Thank you, Hector, my friend, I'll be sure to do a speech of all your courageous deeds at your grave," Mech promised solemnly.

AN: Along with the fact that I don't own Fire Emblem, there are a lot of scenes in this story that I don't own and are not Fire Emblem. If you recognized the scenes, chances are, I don't own them, so don't sue me. If you like to see me continue my story (I'll update regularly this time, I promise) please read and review and please no flames. Thank you.


	3. RUN!

AN: I'm back with this chapter of my old fic. I've putting my resources in my Riviera fic that I forgot about this one. Found it while I was going through my old files. TREMBLE IN FEAR, THE TRIALS CONTINUE!D

Before I forget: disclaimer: Don't own Fire Emblem. If I did, it would be burned on a stake. Same is true with SSBM (Smash Brothers).

Ch.3 Gamemaster Mech vs. Swordmaster Guy 

Buckling on 'his' Killing Edge, Mech went off to face down Guy. After all, if Guy wasn't going to agree with the way things should be handled, Mech wanted to defend himself in order to run away. With a swagger that he hoped was confident, Mech marched to where Guy was.

When Mech arrived, he just saw Lyn finishing her transformation into a Blade Lord.

'Lyn's fighting Guy. This outta be fun,' Mech thought.

He sat down next to a tree and dug out some food he pilfered from Lowen and began to enjoy the show. He saw Lyn make the mistake of using an Iron Bow at close range and knew that was a fatal mistake. As he waited for Guy's final blow, Mech realized something. Lyn was a Lord, and if she died, he'd have to redo his strategy.

"And it was just getting good too," Mech sighed and got up from his seat. Before Lyn was killed, Mech rushed in and blocked the fatal slash with his sword.

"You little brat!" Guy roared, "You deprived me from my victim!"

"Don't worry, you'll get to have your fun, because I'm challenging you to a duel!" Mech declared. With a manic grin, Guy readied his sword.

"No, no, no. Not a sword duel," Mech corrected, "I want to challenge you to a match of "Super Smash Brothers"!"

After making this challenge, Dorcas, Bartre, and Hawkeye pushed a giant screen TV into the area (Mech told them about his plan, since the big guys were needed).

"Then prepare to die weakling!" Guy roared. Seeing what the commotion was about, everyone gathered over to the field.

"What is going on?" Canvas, whose head was stuck in a book the past few weeks, had no clue of what was occurring during the time.

"Mech…is challenging Guy…to a video game duel," Hector wheezed. Canvas arched an eyebrow when he noticed Hector cut up with his armor dented, cracked, and holed.

"He got into a fight with Fiora when she learned that Hector was seeing another person besides Florina," Serra explained cheerful, "Shows that a guy should never play with a woman's heart." She turned her glare toward Erk who was being treated by Priscilla.

"Let the torment began! My character shall be Marth. No one can match his speed or swordsmanship!" Guy gloated.

"There is one guy that can beat him," Mech hinted.

"Roy!" the computer announced as Mech chose his fighter.

"Roy? Ha! He's too slow!" Guy taunted.

"Not everything depends on speed," Mech warned him as he chose a time match, "And I wouldn't want to talk trash about Roy. I'd like to tell you why, but I'm forbidden." Next, Mech quickly chose the Final Destination stage, since it was a plain flat stage with no surprises to interfere with their match.

"3…2…1…GO!" the computer shouted. Marth rushed in and Mech knew that Guy was planning to do. It was either going to be a Dolphin Slash or a Dancing Blade.

'Fine, let's see how good he is,' Mech thought. When Marth was in range, Mech had Roy do a Double-Edge Dance. Caught off guard, Marth took the full 4-hit combo. "How's that?" Mech had to gloat.

"Curse you!" Guy snarled. He countered by using a smash attack but Mech had Roy roll away.

"C'mon, you gotta speedy guy. Use your speed!" Mech taunted guy while he was mashing the buttons.

"You'll eat those words!" Guy snarled, also mashing buttons.

Everyone looked at the two crazed players who were absorbed in their challenge, then looked up at the screen. So far, Mech had 2 KOs, one when he knocked Marth off the edge of the platform, powered up a Flare Blade, then let it loose when Marth was in range and the other was from the third hit of a Double Edge dance with Marth suffering high damage.

"What's the matter? I thought you were a master at this game," Mech continued his trash talking while pounding all sorts of combinations (He gets a Berserker bonus or was it button masher?). Guy responded by having Marth hit Roy with a Shield Breaker that sent Roy flying off the screen.

"Who's your daddy now?" Guy crowed.

"Eliwood is his father, right?" Mech muttered as Roy jumped off the floating platform to resume the fight.

Since Mech and Guy had their characters move around so fast and so random, the screen started crackling as it tried to keep up and the smell of smoke covered the whole area. The Gamecube, being the invincible black box, still managed to do its job (If it broke, how would the story continue?)

"Is that big, flashy box supposed to make those types of sparks?" Eliwood had to ask.

"You know, the one time I saw something sizzling and smelling this horrid was when Mech blew up…let's run," Fiora concluded.

Everyone just gave Fiora and Eliwood a weird look as they ran far away.

"I think they are planning _something_," Sain remarked.

"She better not be doing what I think she's planning on doing," Ninian seethed. Nils eyes widened as he caught what his sister meant. Rebecca hit him on the back of his head.

"Don't go there, Nils. You're too young," she warned. Nils sulked. The crackling grew louder and the smell got stronger from the TV and Guy and Mech were still going at it. So far the score was

Thirty seconds were left when the TV caused a massive explosion to the area. The final score: 

Mech: 10 KOs, 1 fall, 7 SDs

Guy: 1 KO, 10 falls, 3 SDs

AN: I just revealed my opening move with Roy in this chapter. I'd like to brag about how I am the best player on Super Smash Bros, but then, there will be a lot of complaints about how everyone else is better.


	4. The Truth

AN: Another fast update! Of course this is a short chapter and the last.

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Fire Emblem, don't own SSBM (Smash Brothers), and don't own Custom Robo (Geez, the games I play are really outdated).

Ch. 4 The Truth

As the smoke cleared, everyone watched in horror to see if any of the "combatants" survived the explosion.

"I'm back," a familiar voice called out. Everyone turned to see a sane Guy lugging some plastic bags over to them.

"Guy! But how?" Lyn stammered.

"Mech wanted me to run to a store and buy some new games for his Gamecube," Guy grumbled holding a plastic bag up.

"Cool!" Bursting out of the smoke, Mech tackled Guy and snatched the bag, "Let's see: Custom Robo!" With a whoop, Mech ran to the television and booted up his Gamecube (remember: It is invincible).

"Um, Guy? How is it that you're here?" Matthew asked.

"I…walked," Guy answered confused.

"But, you were just there, we saw an explosion, and now you're here," Matthew stammered.

"Mech, did you just introduce drugs here?" Guy demanded. Mech ignored him and was busy customizing his robo.

"The basic core will be Ray 01, afterburners for gun, Dual C for bomb, long thrust for legs, and reflector for pods," Mech was muttering.

"You got the parts already?" Guy asked, peering over Mech.

"Used a code. Go practice your sword skills," Mech ordered. The rest of the group were still open jawed.

"Did I miss something?" Guy demanded. He was getting annoyed by all the attention he was getting.

"Guy, how come you're normal?" Matthew asked.

"Because I've always been this way," Guy told Matthew while inching away from him.

"But, you were obsessed with that box a while ago!" Nino exclaimed.

"Look, just because Mech taught me how to operate a Gamecube, that doesn't mean I play it. All those fizzy colors hurt my eyes," Guy explained. "Mech?" everyone waited for explanation. "Bother me, and you will suffer," Mech warned unsheathing his Killing Edge without putting down the controller. 

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Back on earth, in a hidden lab underneath his basement, a mad 'scientist' chuckled gleefully as he was about to test his new prototype robot.

"With this robot and a new computerized chip, I can multiplayer video games without constantly switching controllers!" The Phoenix Lord laughed (Yes, that's me, but I'm not a mad scientist). Switching the robot on, the robot bashed the controller in the Phoenix Lord's face, as if the controller was sword.

"I am Guy and I will be the best swordsman in all Sacae," it announced.

"Huh? The Guy chip is in there? What did I put in the Proto-Guy bot?" the Phoenix Lord scratched his head. Then it hit him. When his sister was bugging him about how to use the Gameboy player so that she could play Fire Emblem on the Gamecube, he must've swapped chips in the other's case.

"Ho boy, I'm going to it get from Mech now," the Phoenix Lord muttered. He didn't see a group of hardened warriors go through an interdimensional gate and approached him from behind with weapons raised. He didn't even get a chance to scream.

AN: Like a said, a short chapter. This is the final chapter, but maybe not the last time I write Fire Emblem fics. Hmmm….What do you think? Reviews are nice and appreciated. Another thing: There is no code for Custom Robo. Don't start hunting the internet for them.


End file.
